The Refreshment Of The Five Dollar Light Infantryman

Rag Muscovicz was getting ready for bed when a meme posted on the Brainz social network caused a New Tang (feel the fizz!) billboard satellite to overreact and fire a nuclear warhead on its nearest competitor, Hep Lite (heaven, carbonated).

He saw the explosion through his bathroom window as the flash lit up the night sky, obscuring all other billboards for a brief moment. Shards of advertising hoarding became tiny shooting stars as they fell to earth, burning up in the atmosphere.

Rag knew exactly what all this meant, for he was a Hep man. That’s it, he thought, I’m drafted.

Sure enough, within seconds, he received official notice in the form of a priority message from Hep command.

At the same time, his wife cried out from the next room, “Oh no!”

Rag rushed to her side. “You too, Elid?”

She nodded, tears in her eyes. “Oh darling, whatever will we do?”

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